Two years ago today this morning was a very scary time for all of us. Shad had a bad night the night before so they decided to put him on the ventilator. I went out to the waiting room to wait and prayed that if we were suppose to get him out of this hospital that an angel would come to me and tell me. In a few minutes that happened. A nurse named Linsey came out of the ICU and said if that were my child I would get him out of here and Garry and I both said let's do it. So she went back in and got thing rolling to transfer him to another hospital. After they got him on the Ventilator we were allowed to go in to see him.. all I can remember was that my baby boy was fighting with everything in him to tell someone that something was wrong. I could not bear to see him like that so we went back out in the chapel. In what seemed to be seconds there was a CODE BLUE called and I just knew that it was him so did Garry. We just fell to our knees and prayed that God would spare him and that he would be ok. You know the no one wants to loss their child. All this time I had another angel with me by the name of Kim Frazier. She is one of the doctors that I work with and she is such and God sent to all of my family. Thank you Kim, In what seemed to be forever the Doctors came out and said that he was Ventilated and that he was stable and that we were going to Central Baptist Hospital because he had experienced a Heart Attack and that he needed to go there and have a heart Cath. We agreed and they let us go and tell him that we loved him and we would see him at the other hospital. He was resting well and that made me a little bit calmer. We got all of our stuff and off we went to the other hospital in Lexington. I rode with my sister, and Dr Kim walked me to the car to tell me to be strong and that she would be praying for us. This day turned into the day when I would never hear my son say Momma again. I would never recieve one of his wonderful hugs again. We were told on this day that he was brain dead and that he may not recover. Those words were hard to hear but today on this day 2 years ago I know that it was God's plan for my baby boy to be rescued from all the bad in this world to go to a place where he would have eternal life, although we still hung on to the hope that he would come out of all of this. People all over the world were praying for us. We just were hanging in there. Shad I know that you are in a place that you would not want to leave and as a mother that is a comfort. I love you son and will see you when I get there. Momma
March 22, 2007 / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
Good Morning Shad I am doing well today. I just got up and was thinking of you and how much that I love and miss you. This day 2 years ago was pretty uneventful, just alot of prayers and visitors. You slept most of the day. I am feeling some peace right now because as I look around at the world as it is today I think of how blessed you are to be in the eternal arms of Jesus. I am such a blessed mother to know that you are there and also that I have all of your children here on earth to love and to always have a piece of you with me. I love you son and miss you. I will see you when I get there. Momma Close
March 21, 2007 / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
Two years ago today you were taken to ICU at Ephraim McDowell hospital where I work. I remember that you were so scared to go the the unit because you kept saying that your Papa died in the unit. I told you that you were going there to be watched more closely and it would be ok. Tiffany had bought you a cowboy hat and you wanted to wear it down the elevator and so you did. You were so sick but there you were 6ft 4 inches tall and in a hospital bed with a cowboy hat going into the elevator to ICU. You were having a hard time with your breathing by then. Your kidney's were not doing so well and your breathing was worsening. I call your dad and said that you were going to the unit and that I needed him. I really don't think that he realize just how sick you were or he was just dealing with it to himself but he came and you look up at him and said I love you Dad and that meant more to him than anything in the world. We spent that day and night just praying for you. By this time Bai Bai was here and sissy came with her to be with me. I was so worried and scared but I had to hold it together to help you. I remember our routine was you would sleep for a while and then you would want to get up and we had our system. Once you were up we would just stand there with our arms around each other and talk and then in a few minutes you would be ready to lay back down and rest. When I think of all of this I want to be sick to my stomach but then I thank God that I could have you and that time with you was so special. I love you and miss you so much. I will go now but I will be back in the morning. I will see you when I get there. Momma Close
March 20,2007 / Helen Vickers (Mother of Shad )
Two years ago today Shad called me early in the morning to ask me to come to him because he was scare. I went straight there and he had gotten worse through the night. He was scared because things were being done to him that he did not really understand. We talked about everything and I stayed with him and did not leave him until March 31 which is the day that he went to be with the Lord. Shad told me that morning that My daddy who had passed away in 1989 had come to see him during the night and had told him that everything was going to be ok. At one point during that day I was crying and he asked me why was I crying and I told him that I was just worried about him and he said to me, " Momma don't you worry about me I have the holy spirit with me and I will be fine. He prayed that day alot. That night he was getting a little worse. His kidney function was failing earlier that day and then that night his breathing was getting worse. I remember that during the early part of that evening he said let's take a walk and so I helped him to stand, he was very weak, and we went on what would be our last walk together . We talked as we walked and I remember watching him jaundice body tremble as he tried to take that walk. We made it just passed the nurses station and he said momma I think we better turna around I am getting very tired. And that is what we did.. We went back to his room and just rested and tried to sleep. I love you son and I am go grateful for the time that you and I had during the first few days that you were in the hospital. I watched you pray and seek God's face and that gave me some comfort. Until tomorrow I will see you when I get there. Momma Close
March 19th 2007 / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
As I remember 2 years ago today was the only good day that I can remember while Shad was sick. He watched NCAA Ballgames and slept alot. I remember that he was still in alot of pain and he had a morphine PCA. He stayed pretty sedated most of the day. I went home that night because we had Aiden to care for at my house because Robbie was in the hospital with a bili of 19. It was so wierd that they were both in there on different floors, but I knew that if I left that I could count on Tiffany to be there if he needed anything. I do remember that I at this point thought that he would get better and I think that the doctors did too. I am going to close now. I love you son and miss you so much. I wish that I could just get one of your big hugs and suck face kisses. They were the bomb. I will see you when I get there. Momma Close
March 18, 2007 / Helen Vickers (Mother of Shad )
This day starts a long and hard journey to the loss of my precious Shad. At aroung 6:30 on March the 18th Shad got really sick with what we all believed to be a virus. I know that this story is on here where Sarah started the page and it is on the part of About Him. I am just asking that you all will pray a special pray for me, my husband, my daughter Sarah , Tiffany, Shad's wife and all of the children, Savanna, Seth, Aiden, Sydney and Robbie. We miss our Shad very much and hope to see him someday in heaven. Also pray for my mother Betty Francis, this was a big loss for her also. She lost her mother of 95 in August after Shad died so always remember her. Also the Aunts, Uncles, and cousins that he left behind. God bless all of us and God I pray that you will have your loving arms around all of us in the next couple of weeks. This next 5 days are the days that I spent with my son in a way that I had never spent before. We prayed together and he assured me that he would be ok. He also asked me several times to watch over his children. I told him that he would be ok and that he would be able to care for them himself. Well the prayer that we prayed was answered the way that God wanted it to be answer which is not always the way that we want it. God bless you my son. I know that you are with your maker and that you are well and happy all the time. You never have to worry or be tempted with drugs, alcohol or anything else. You are my sonshine and you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know son how much I miss you. You were taken away from me so soon. I love you and will see you when I get there. Momma Close
I wrote you a song Daddy / Savanna Vickers (daughter of Shad )
I wrote you another song today Daddy. I love you very much and miss you too. I wish you were here for me to talk to and to hug. Here is the song that I wrote.
Skys are blue and so are you. You are as sweet as flowers. We are the same the very equal same for the things we do. The thime has come for you to go where you belong up there. It is also time for the end of you. We both liked snakes, snails and mice.
Two years ago today / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
Two years ago today. My son was out back with Sarah and Garry working on a building that now is there as a reminder of the togetherness of my family. Aiden and Robbie and Tiffany were here because Shad and Tiffany had just brought Robbie home from the hospital on the 16th. Everything was perfect. Robbie was healthy just really yellow and Shad was great. Tiffany and Shad's friends came over that night and watched movies and spent the evening together. Shad was holding Robbie on his chest and just being a perfect father the way he was. Little did we know that little Robbie would never be held by his Daddy again after that day. He was so sick the next day and until he left us that he could not hold his sweet son because he was in so much pain. I will think of you today son and will miss you. Until tomorrow I love you I will see you when I get there. Momma Close
Your baby is 2 now / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
Yesterday was Robbie's birthday. He is two and is such a big boy. He and Aiden are both growing so fast. I cried at the party because it is so sad for you to not be there. I love you so much and I know that you dying was God's plan and that it was the right plan, It is just so sad to know that your children will never get to know their Daddy. Jay is doing so much good with them and he is such a blessing. I know that as the years go by it will get easier for us to cope but right now it is hard. We went to the cemetary yesterday and put some flowers on your grave. It was weird because we were in such a rush and that is not good. I am going to go to Prestonsburg one day and not let anyone know that I am coming and I am going to go to your grave and sit and talk to you for as long as I want. Yesterday there were to many things going on that I could not even think. All I knew was that I wanted it to be over. Now I will have the whole ordeal on my mind for the rest of the month. I think of the night that I brought you to the hospital and I think of the last walk that you and I took in the hall on the 4th floor of this hospital. I can see your trembling body in my mind and it makes me so sad. I think of the morning that we took you to ICU here and you wore the Cowboy hat that Tiffany had gotten for you. I think of all the prayers I watched you pray and how scared you were. I think that some how you knew that you were not going to make it. I remember the morning that we took you to Central Baptist. That morning I was awakened by you yelling SOME ONE HELP ME. I have never ,and hope to never be ,so scared that morning. Then when they called a code blue I knew that it was you and I just prayed that God would let you live and he did just for a while longer. I remember the Doctor at CBH coming out from the Cardiac Cath and telling us that your heart was fine but that he was worried because you were nonresponsive. I got angry and told that Doctor that we were there for your heart and for the pancreatitis and that was it. He told us you would now go to a neuro intensive care unit. Those days were the hardest days of my life. I remember one of those days I lean over your lifeless body and said to you, son if you need to go it is ok.. I knew where you were going and I will see you some other day. I guess it must have been another few days before you died but I felt such peace that you were going to be with my Daddy and that is what would make you the happiest. It is the worst thing ever to have to give up a child, but to know where they are going makes it somewhat easier. A big part of me died that day on March 31 3005. A part that will never come back. But I do know that I will see you again. I love you and was so proud to call you my son. I will see you when I get there. Momma Close
Let go and Let God / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
This is what we all need to learn from our Savior dying on the cross. Please take the time to read this. I love you all Helen One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job. His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment and frustration. Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed: "Lord, You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot I don't know how. It is not fair Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me, and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is face Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray that you teach me to do this one thing I cannot do - Teach me To Forgive." As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt. He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them. He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak. "Have you ever told a lie?" He asked? The man answered - "yes, Lord." "Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?" The man answered - " yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more. "Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked? And the man answered - "yes, Lord." "Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?" The man, crying now, answered - "yes, Lord." As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "yes, Lord." Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before. Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you." It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is. If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it. When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you! If you are one of those who will witness for him, forward this. Sadly many people won't forward this. Which are you?
thinking of you / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
Tomorrow is Robbie's birthday and it truly does start a time in my life that was very hard. I am going to try to make it a time that is happy. I hope you are in that room at that party son because I will be there too. Sarah, Seth, Sydney and Dad are going too. I miss you so much my son and I know that I have to make the best of every day but sometimes it is hard. I just want you to know that no matter what happened in your life that you were very special to me and to everyone that ever met you. I will write again in the morning, I love you. You go rest upon that mountain and know that I will see you when I get there Momma Close
Today my heart aches for you / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
Today I am thinking of the time that you and Tiffany spent at the hospital waiting on Robbie to decide to make his entrance into the world. You all were so much in love and so happy. I think of how much you and Tiffany loved your children. You all were so good together and that made me happy. I think of how healthy we thought that you were. I remember you were so worried about lossing your job at Lowe's and how nice and understanding they were with you. Today was probably the day that me and Sarah came and brought Aiden and Sydney and Seth to visit you all. We all were so excited to meet this new blessing that God had given us. We did not know how long that he would stay in there but all we knew was that we wanted him to be healthy. Shad you were such a wonderful Daddy to Aiden and Savanna. You were so concerned about Tiffany and Robbie on this day 2 years ago. I am thinking of you and loving you so much. I will think of you this whole month. You stay close beside me and hold me with your spiritual arms. I love you son and will see you when I get there. Momma Close
Miss you / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
I just talked to Tiffany and she is having some more test run on her bellly and throat and also going to another Dr of the cyst on her ovary. Shad please be with her and help her cope with all of this stuff. I miss you so. I think that today is the day that you rode in an ambulance to bring Tiff to Lexington to try to keep Robbie in her belly. I remember that you talked about how much fun it was to do that and that they let you run the siren. Robbie will be 2 on March 14 th which at that time you were so excited to have another boy. Little did we know that would be your last trip to lexington. I relive all the things that we had to deal with, that long road from March 18th until the 31st which was the day that you died. You are my sonshine and I love you so I will meet you in the sky someday until then you stay close by me. I love you momma Close
I am thinking of you today / Helen Vickers (mother of Shad )
Today we took Seth to get some blood work done. You would have been so proud of him. He is a brave little boy. I need you to be with Tiffany. She is still not feeling well and I am worried about her. Please be with her and your son's as they go through this difficult time. You are my sonshine and I love you so much. I got Robbie's birthday stuff today and I got him stuff that I thought that you would want him to have, I am so sad that you are not here to watch your children grow up. You would however be so proud of all three of them. I have to go get ready for work now I will see you when I get there. I love you for ever. Momma Close
Shad I miss you so much. I just keep thinking of all that we went through in March of 2005. I don't remember exactly the date that you and Tiffany came to St Joseph East to try to keep Robbie from coming to soon, but I remember that you thought that it was so great to ride in an ambulance to Lexington. Little did we know that it would be the last trip you would take to Lexington. Your last trip home was in a casket in the back of a hurse. Oh my, that was the worse day of my life and now I have to think of it day after day. You were a wonderful son even if you did make me crazy alot of the time,,I still loved you unconditionally. It was hard to do sometimes but you know that I loved you. I am so thankful for the time spent with you in the hospital before you got so sick you could not speak. I got to see you pray, testify in church ,and then at your memorial service the night before your funeral I was so proud to listen to the things that people had to say about you. What a wonderful way to be remembered. A big teddy bear, a person who loved everyone, a great son, a wonderful brother,, a wonderful husband to Tiffany and a wonderful Daddy to Savanna, Aiden and little Robbie, who by the way came 4 weeks early to meet you. Robbie will be 2 next week and it is not fair that you are not going to be there. I know that you will be there in spirit and I hope that Robbie feels your love in his little body. I will give him a be kiss and hug for you. God I wish you were here. I miss you. I probably need to stop writing now because I am getting angry that you are gone. I am going to go take a bath and try to relax. You Dad got home safe last night and boy am I glad that he is here. I will say goodnight now and I will see you when I get there. I love you my Sonshine. Momma
IM TRULY SORRY / SHAWN JOHNSON (FRIEND)
TO THE FAMILY OF SHAD VICKERS, HI,MY NAME IS SHAWN JOHNSON,I WENT THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL WITH SHAD AS WELL AS SOME ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WHEN HE AND SARAH WERE ENROLLED AT CLARK,I DID NOT ATTEND SHADS FUNERAL OR MEMORIAL SERVICES,ONLY BECAUSE I WAS NOT AWARE OF HIS PASSING,IT REALLY TOOK ME BY SURPRISE, BECAUSE I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PANCREATITIS AROUND THE 3rd OF MARCH 2005,I SPENT ABOUT 8 DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL,AND WAS STILL VERY SICK FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS AFTER,SO YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE MY SHOCK TO HEAR ABOUT SHAD,NOT JUST BECAUSE WE WERE BOTH DIAGNOSED WITH THE SAME CONDITION ONLY DAYS APART,BUT YOU NEVER THINK OF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENING TO SOMEONE AS LOVING AND CARING AS SHAD.SHAD WAS AN ITIMIDATING MOUNTAIN OF A MAN,IVE SEEN PEOPLE LOOK AWAY OR STEER CLEAR OF HIM IN HOPES OF NOT GETTING ON HIS BAD SIDE,BUT AS THESE PEOPLE WOULD FIND OUT IN ONLY A MATTER OF SECONDS AFTER HE SPOKE THAT SHAD DIDNT POSSESS A BAD SIDE,HE ALWAYS HAD A SMILE ON HIS FACE FOR EVERYONE ,NO MATTER RACE,RELIGION,OR COLOR,BUT THAT WAS JUST SHAD.THE LAST TIME I SPOKE WITH HIM WE WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT KIND OF TATTOO HE WAS GOING TO DO FOR ME.ALTHOUGH SHAD AND I WERE NEVER THE GREATEST OF FRIENDS,HE AND I WILL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS.I TOLD SARAH, I CANT SAY I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO LOSE A SIBLING,BECAUSE I DONT,BUT I CAN ONLY ASSUME ITS REALLY DEVASTATING,ITS SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH.PARENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BURY THEIR KIDS,AND I KNOW IT HAS TO BE HARD,BUT JUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU WILL SEE THAT BIG BEAUTIFUL SMILE AGAIN.I CAN HONESTLY SAY YOUR GUYS FAMILY IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST CLOSE KNIT FAMILY IVE EVER KNOWN,THATS WHAT MADE HIM HAPPY WAS HIS FAMILY,I CAN SEE SHAD IN ALL THE PICTURES OF HIS KIDS AS WELL AS SARAH'S,SO JUST KNOW MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE WITH YOUR FAMILY,MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. SINCERELY, SHAWN JOHNSON Close
I wish I could have met you. / Leanne Bloom (Friend)Read >>
I wish I could have met you. / Leanne Bloom (Friend)
I was lucky enough to have found such a good friend in your sister. Your family misses you and loves you very much. Your children and beautiful.
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